nurshuhada kamaruzaman

i will lead the way
of my life
but i need a friend
an inspiration
to pick me evreytime i fall
to find me everytime i got lost
to support me all the way

will you please do the honour
of being that special friend..?

cause damn it shu
i cant live without you

love ya always,
Z

I am stupid

"so how do expect me to live
alone with just me
cuz my world revolves
around you and
its so hard for me to
breathe..."~No Air (Chris Brown ft. Jordin Sparks)

i am such a idiot.

all my life, people keep telling me "sheq, ur such an idiot, but u bright up my life".

i wanted to believe them. i wanted to believe that i am the world's biggest idiot.

but i cant.

the thought of brighten up their life took over all thought of my stupidity.i thought i was just another idiot who were there to entertain them. to cheer them up. but anna was right. stupidity will let you down.

i am stupid for falling for you. stupid for letting go of nazir for u. i even gave up hoping on aqil for u. but yet, u still havent notice the advantage i'm exposing.

dude, cant u see ??

i am madly in love with you !!

but i wont admit it. not in ur face, at least not out loud ...

Waiting .. and still waiting ..

when it comes to the word "wait", i am the world's biggest looser. probably because i spent half of my life waiting.

waiting hopelessly for him to enter my life again. to sweep me off the floor. to steal my heart and my dreams again.

waiting for raya in the middle of ramadhan;
waiting for snow in the middle of KL;
waiting for the sun and moon to meet ...

as a poet, i express my feelings and thoughts as poems. so i wrote a special poem.
dedicated to my "waiting-ness".

warning: the poem is in malay. only those who are close to me or in higher level of malay can understand the meaning.

have fun!

ps/ i am not emo .. its juz this is the only picture i can find that actly connects to my feelings

************************************

Penantianku
---------------

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu
Kesediahn diri ini rasai
Dihimpit siang dan malam
Direbut cinta dan rindu

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu
Berat beban bahu ini menggalas
Mengheret kakiku yang kaku
Sementara minda kecilku ini keliru

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu
Penantianku bagai matahari menanti bulan
Penuh dengan harapan; bagai mahligai
Namun mustahil dikecapi walau bertarung nyawa dan cinta

Hanya Tuhan yang tahu
Betapa hatiku ini mendoa
Agar segala duka dan dusta ini
Ghaib, hilang, pergi walaupun buat sesaat

SUMMER ohh~eight

summer, my fav season of all. the hot guys, running around half-naked. FYI, im so not a perv. but as a normal human being with hormones and feelings, i think that we shud go out there and thank godd for all the hot guys out there.

think about it. would you want to live in this planet, knowing all the people are the same? knowing that there's not even one hot guy to drool over?? i cant live in such world. in fact, i cant even imagine a world where humans are just...humans with no special features of beauty and/or hotness.

sorry, i am waaaayyy off the topic.

okeyh, my summer isn't that great. in fact its not good at all. its the worst. i cant even go back to malaysia to see my bff sampai mati, nur shuhada kamaruzaman.

to my bff sampai mati,
dari hujung rambut hingga hujung kaki aku minta ampun drp ko. yes, i know raya lambat lagi. but u waited so long for this day. after all u went throught. i promise u, i will return one day. for sure. then i'll be yours forever. untill then, take good care of yourself. and remember, i will always love you.

love always,
Z
xoxo